Day 59 – Business

Ticket in hand but now
I don’t want to go back
I know the old bars
are filled with strangers
so much younger than me
my friends have scattered away
to raise their kids and anyone left
would surely eye me with suspicion
no one asked me to come back
it’s only business calling me there
or I wouldn’t risk seeing my hometown
so moved on and yet so
miserably the same

Day 58 – By Now

by now the fear is like
waves on the beach
no longer a rising storm
predictable in a comforting way
just another thing to watch
as it slips away

Day 57 – Amateur Journalism

So many people have pens in their hands
and cotton balls shoved in their ears,
so eager to tell a story they never heard

Sure, it left a mark on you but
you didn’t leave a dent in them;
their world never needed a Travelin’ Jack
to come through and make it real

That gracious town which opened its doors
then swiftly kicked you out should be left to rest;
its beauty didn’t shine for you so
don’t claim it for yourself.

Day 56 – Easy/Hard

It’s not as easy as it seems
I know because I was crazy enough
to do it but
it’s also not as hard as it seems
I know because I’m standing outside
my own windows, laughing

Day 55 – Morning Monster

In the morning, cold and quiet,
there is a monster who rises with me
and drags up yesterday when
I’m just trying to start today.

It tells me things are just the same
as they have always been and
will continue on like this
until I’m dead.

So far I have no answer for this monster,
I just close my eyes and try to think
of better times and hope
they’ll come again.

Day 54 – Back on Track

It’s always harder to get back on track
than it is to stay off the rails but I
got so used to heading nowhere fast
that starting the engine feels like a violation;
moving forward feels much more like
running away.

Day 53 – Hypothetics

I know very well the sorts of people
I find so stimulating
are the very same my mother
warned me about and
I have tried to make real friends
of married couples and working adults
and other well-adjusted groups but
there’s a part of me that longs to be
sleep-deprived and raving with
the lunatics who favor hypothetics
over this polite reality.

Day 52 – Dessert

It might be soft of me
but I’m warming up to
chip in for chocolate chunks
set aside my half-baked aspirations
let them cool on the rack
while I dunk a fresh few
chew on this while I pour a glass
and soak a few, my diet can wait
since these are homemade
I’m ready for the sweet life
while this cookie is crumbling
I’m feeling defeated but
the oven’s preheated and
it’s finally time for dessert

Day 51 – Saturday

I’m not supposed to be working because
it’s Saturday. Today is a day of rest. But
resting makes me tired and work keeps
my mind off the fact that I cannot rest
so I’m making another quick spreadsheet
while you’re in the shower.

Day 50 – Study

I must’ve been an interesting creature to study
a mess too tempting to be ignored
a little kid in grandma’s clothes
an old lady’s heart in sneakers

In any case I sure studied you
the reasons you kept me around
the way you quickly disappeared
when I started to act my age

I know time and introspection dwindle our
challenging ways, our interesting flaws
but there is still so much to study
since you stayed the same