Day 130 – Rocks

I know I am filling up my days
with rocks so I can
talk about how I stumble
I know exactly why each stone
is not enough

I sigh each time a pen
finds its way to my hands,
each time I lament out loud, “If only…”
and put it down
for another day
which isn’t coming

I know the fire is dead,
all smothered out
by the pebbles that life has dropped,
or so I have to believe
to keep on believing

I’m smart enough to fool myself,
busy enough to ignore
that there is a current running wild
inside my veins

and it is terrified that I
can’t make a spark

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Day 129 – Patient

You’ve been holding on
and they’ve been holding out

They won’t tell us
how far you’ve gone

Days and days of
holding our breath

but they don’t feel
what we felt

when you opened your eyes

they don’t know
what we knew

that you wouldn’t give up
so easy

Day 127 – Grief

Grief is very much like
carrying around a bucket filled to the brim.

No one asks why you’re tiptoeing around
trying not to jostle it; they know
one false move can tip it over.
Even forgetting for just a moment,
laughing a little too freely
can bring unexpected pain,
can pour you out

Day 123 – I’m Ten

I ride in a yellow monster’s mouth
with gum under my feet
I carry books like an ant with a piece of fruit

I can write with any pencil
no matter how small a nub
I can tell you what’s a rhombus and what’s not

I understand what you mean
when you spell out D-E-N-T-I-S-T
I know when you’ve been crying and when you lie

I know what an active shooter is
but they won’t mess with me
I’m ten and I’m fierce and smart and fancy-free