Day 144 – The Dentist

The dentist opened my mouth and found
all these lies that I’d been hiding
inside my teeth like egg yolks bursting,
dripping falsehoods only whispered
now laid bare to clean tiles, white walls

He asked me do I find the pressure painful,
do I feel it throbbing in my ears at night-
I can’t eat truth or it will stain my reputation.
How can I swallow what I cannot bear to taste?

I lie because it’s easier
than finding the words to explain-
I lie and say I’m not angry
because I don’t know why I am.
I say that my honesty left me somehow
slipped away and I didn’t follow,
I didn’t try to get it back
but that’s just another tooth to pull,
another Vicodin to take

The truth is so much harder now,
a stone inside the womb, a diamond to cut
open old scars, to make each trip
with less and less air-
it takes a miracle of strength
to go back anymore

so I have lived without visiting those places
I’ve survived without eating that fruit
I’ve made a new life by filling cavities with lies
and pretending my smile is sincere

but the dentist knows, and God knows
it’s not

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Day 48 – The Night Guard

Protector of the infantry
from their own scraping blades-
no more falling
on your sword
in your sleep-

the night guard
is here
to defend.

I sell it to myself
on the drive home
from the dentist-

the closest to truly brave
I’ll ever get.

Day 186 – A Wonky Day

A wonky day starts with a good dream,
a dream which is ill-deserved:

one universe beyond belief
sliding seamlessly into the next
without even the courtesy
of erasing its tracks, its proof,

a cool river running down
a tunnelĀ of warm guts.

It isn’t true
and it isn’t fair.

A zombie stands in the bathroom mirror
mumbling the correspondence
between Tom and Ground Control,
a morning numbed by too much good
which was ill-deserved,
destructive.

A dentist steadily rubs on sugar,
grinds it into cavities and down throats
metering out his punishments
which were ill-deserved
while the radio plays.

Planet Earth is blue,
and there’s nothing I can do…