Day 114 – Fruitfully

I cannot apologize for my childhood,
for I wasn’t always there.
In all these hundreds of days
I’ve never gone back.

The way we learn to be
is not
the way we’d ever choose

and so

I was
a wrecked flower
from the start.

I cannot apologize for the pathways
stealthily formed
in fragile matter
or the horrors I kept in
by spreading out

I only know for sure
that

the way we try to love
is not
a thing we can control

and so,

fruitfully or not,
I tried.

Advertisements

Year 2: Day 66 – Fly Over Me

Fly over me four years ago,
in love without one clue
that I was dying

Fly over me and see me in my party dress
like big girls wear,
and drinking alcohol,
a house full of kids doing whip-its,
nobody I ever should’ve known,
nobody who’d remember me now

Fly over me and whisper me a backbone,
tell me I’m not fated to pretend,
and when I don’t listen
and I know I won’t,
just fly over me
and drop a match