waste

no more money lunches
plus-one on a yacht
full of nobody good
stuffed shirts and big mouths
i never wanted any part
of the truffle oil world
it was nice i guess
for a bit of change
but i never saw any
pass to empty hands
i saw big live lobster tails
get cracked
over minimal tips
nothing meant anything
when we had enough
to waste

Your Heart is a Language

Your heart is a language
I’ve always known how to speak–
words are our playthings
but we really talk in beats–

I know your rhythms
I’ve followed them for so long
I hear your reasons
pounding in your chest

You owe no explanations–
I trusted you first
before you were mine
and some things won’t change

There’s an art to letting go
and I’ve learned it well
you can only add,
not subtract

and I know you need to fly far
but you always come back

Wait for Me, Sisters

wait for me, sisters–
i’m coming up behind
got a fist of crushed love
i’m here to join the line

take communion with a cup of salty tears
sing hymns about our realized fears

i got nowhere left to go
will you kindly take me in
i’ll be quiet as the grave
while i’m atoning for my sins

write a letter to the past to warn myself
put it with the other lessons left unopened on the shelf

wait up for me, sisters–
i have so much more to learn
take my fist of crushed love
give me a candle to burn

Day 365 – Finished!

I wrote a lot of poems for this day
but none of them seemed to fit–
I think it will suffice to say
it’s been wild

Thank you to everyone who read, liked, and shared feedback about my year in poetry. It’s finished! I started this journey on the advice of my therapist who encouraged me to start writing again when I felt like I didn’t have it in me anymore. A year of learning and growing has taught me that I do have it and always will. It’s time now to take a break and focus on other creative projects but I’m certain I’ll be back. I can never keep away.

Until next time!

Day 364 – From Start to Finish

From start to finish
I’ve come alive
and it’s worth all the times
I had to die

From start to finish
I wrote the book
each page was worth
all the hits I took

But we know that wasn’t the true start
and we know it’ll never be finished

I’m hanging my boots by the fire
putting my heart back in its box for a while

Letting silence do its job once more

Day 363 – How the World Forgets

How the world forgets
and will keep on forgetting–
we know ourselves so well.
How it seems as a whole
we never learn but
looking in close I think
someone out there could see
how many of us
are really trying, still
to remember.

Day 362 – Her

She lives in me–
her voice, her choices
all her tendencies I soaked in
all her mistakes I don’t want to make
I see her face in the mirror
I see her handwriting
coming out of my hands
I hear her barking laugh
coming out of me
and I see her pushing
out of fear–
she taught me that, too
I do it well and
running away seems to be
the thing I thought would fix it
but how could I get away
from her mind in mine?
I am difficult like my mother
but
I will not stay that way
I do remember
I do see, at least,
the difference.

Day 361 – the problem

the problem
with most people
is that they only
give the love
they want
and
expect in return
the love
they don’t need

Day 360 – Every Little

Every little girl
I encourage to write,
to be brave, to stand tall
to use her own voice
is me–
I become the beacon of hope
she always needed.

Every little boy
I hug and put band-aids on,
protect from bullies
young and old,
assure that pink is for him too
is you–
I become the great protector
I wish you had.

I can’t go back and save us
but I’ll spend the rest of my life
building a bridge for them
to safely cross the stream.

Day 359 – Holiday Haiku

not much worth saying
a quiet day in my heart
big feels to sit with

to keep it all in
seems fitting for me because
i need to believe

these private pains are
somehow essential for the
someday of my soul