Day 358 – Cup of Tea

When I let it all go

you went with it—

it’s easier this way.

I see so many paths that fork ahead,

I see patterns with clear eyes behind,

I see the forgetting that always comes,

I see a blue sky of the mind

like I’ve always made, like a cup of tea

for myself

Day 357 – Jetlag

Took the red-eye down to Grandma

she got me full of that Cuban espresso

Dad’s going 90 all the way back north.

I sleep in fits in the front, she keeps that

conehead dog in the back, he bites most people

but I know that dog likes me. All of my

childhood pets are dead, they buried Jack

in the yard after he got sick and Penny ran

into that wild coyote. Mom got some new cat,

she gave it a name I can’t pronounce, and he’s

no Percy but I guess he’ll have to do. My brothers

speak in different tones than I remember, they

followed suit and went to college after I left—

think I was onto something early and it stuck.

They’re talking Christmas lights tomorrow at

the Roost, my teenage thinking lake, I wonder

how anywhere could hold so much water.

They don’t ask me hard questions, they’re just

happy that I’m here, remodeled the bathroom,

bought new cars, got put on meds, and lost a tooth.

I sip it slowly, the ways we all have changed, the

ways I thought I did, I ran for years, gave up

the thought of having home— but it’s still here.

You can’t lose home— we’ll still play chess

and my Dad will always win and for once I

won’t mind to lose.

Day 164 – Glass Houses

We’ve always lived in glass houses

and our words were always little grenades

the moment any real truth slid under my door

I’d call it shots fired and start loading my gun

but I fear no words anymore

The silence is louder in one room now

when everywhere else in my house is full

there are no more stones you can throw

that I couldn’t take, that I wouldn’t welcome

you’re already in my bones

and I’m not broken

Day 163 -Hotel Rooms

First night alone for too many years

second story in a hotel room, I watch the

rain come down on this city, I think of

hot summers and cold goodbyes

All the history I ran away from

all the hurt I still can’t face, I see the

images painted on hotel walls, I hear the

old songs, I know all the words

But I’ll be on a plane tomorrow,

heading back to the safety I built, I won’t

forget what I locked in hotel rooms, but I’ll

never take it back with me